Rivals on the court, spouses off it

By Jason Guarente — MikeDragoSports.com senior correspondent

Although they played the same sport in the same area and later walked in the same coaching circles, it took a blind date for Josh Ressler and Sheila Stufflet to find each other.

They were connected through a mutual friend who knew they had one shared interest: basketball. That, it turned out, was the perfect way to break the ice.

“The NBA was on and I knew almost every player,” Sheila said. “He thought that was so neat. He said, ‘I haven’t met many girls who could do that.’ I talked about the game. It was our common ground.”

Stufflet is now Sheila Ressler, which tells you the matchmaking worked out pretty well. The couple have been together 15 years and have two daughters: Kendall and Evelyn. 

Both are still coaching and still crossing paths in interesting ways. They’ll travel from the same address to opposite benches when Berks Catholic and Wilson collide for a girls game at West Lawn Monday night. Josh is an assistant varsity coach at BC. Sheila coaches the JV at Wilson.

This is the second time the teams have played this season. Berks Catholic won 35-32 Jan. 10. Both husband and wife walked away with a slice of bragging rights that night.

“I will admit since she won the JV game last time I got some crap for that,” Josh said with a laugh. “I told her it didn’t matter. We won the important game.”

Ressler played at Conrad Weiser and for one season at Albright. He quit after his freshman year to start his path in coaching. He was a junior high coach at 19.

Stufflet was one of Wilson’s all-time greats. She was a Berks Player of the Year who played four seasons at the University of Pittsburgh. 

Because the two are separated by five years, they didn’t meet until Sheila returned home from grad school and started coaching as an assistant at Weiser. Josh was coaching under Reggie Weiss with Muhlenberg’s girls at the time. He later took over that program.

“Basketball is a big part of our lives,” Josh said. “It always gives us something to talk about. I don’t know if we talk about it as much as everybody thinks we might. It certainly does help to be active and have the same likings as each other.”

What adds to the complexity of the Resslers’ situation this season is Berks Catholic and Wilson are two of the top contenders for the Berks championship. BC is the favorite to repeat. Wilson will likely be seeded second or third in the tournament. That means their road to a gold medal could go through each other.

The two said coaching for rivals doesn’t create awkward conversations in their house. Most nights they’re too busy taking care of their daughters to dwell much on practices or the intricacies of their teams.

“We’re both very competitive,” Sheila said. “I don’t think either one of us would share secrets that would jeopardize winning. But we’re also very supportive of each other and the programs. I think it’s a competitive, healthy rivalry.”

Josh said they talk more about opponents because the teams have identical league schedules.

Both understand the disappointment and frustration that comes with losing. Both know how great it feels to win. That shared experience can be comforting.

“It’s such a roller coaster of a ride when you look back and think of everything that happens through a year,” Josh said. “More often she’ll say things that make me realize what happened isn’t all that bad and vice versa. You’re really angry and somebody else can shed some light on it. They can give you a different perspective.”

Sheila returned to coaching after taking some time off to raise the girls, who are now 10 and 7. She spent last season at the middle school level before joining Chris Gallo’s staff.

The former post player has worked with Isis Dojan, Wilson’s 6-2 center. Being back on the bench has helped Sheila scratch her competitive itch. She missed basketball when she was away.

“It’s dedication, hard work and doing something you love,” Sheila said. “For the longest time I didn’t think I could be a mom and a coach. I’m grateful I can do both.”

The couple have a collection of plaques and photographs on display in their basement. Ressler won the Jack Flowers award. Stufflet brought home the Catherine Rhodes award. Those are the honors given to the top senior boys and girls player each year.

If Berks Catholic and Wilson meet in the county championship game, one coach will come home with a gold medal and the other will bring home silver. The Resslers are prepared for that bittersweet possibility. It would be much harder if they were head coaches.

“However it unfolds, we obviously both want to see the best for our programs,” Sheila said. “But it’s not going to make an uncomfortable home life. We definitely love each other and we’re supportive of each. There won’t be any bad blood. We’re just super competitive and would love to see a great championship game. That’s our goal.”

The results of these matchups might find their way into future conversations. If Wilson wins . . .

“I certainly would be happy for her,” Josh said. “Until we meet up with friends one summer afternoon and she’s rubbing it in.”

Basketball will always be present in the Resslers’ home. Win or lose, they’re thankful it’s a gift they share with each other.